We are trialling some new activities at work for families developed by Victoria Beech God Ventures (www.godventure.co.uk). One of them is a picture of an unopened conker. The reflection question on the back of the card is “What feels spiky in your care?” It is seeking to take seriously that although we seek to do our best for our children and their families at the hospital, sometimes it doesn’t feel right for them. It is liberating to work somewhere where these feelings are allowed and even encouraged to be voiced. It is great when that is true of church too.
This seems to be a helpful reflection for how we feel we are cared for by others and God. Sometimes it is not about intentionality but how it f eels to US. What I have found helpful is when we have been hurt by someone is to say “When you did or said that, this is how it made me feel”. Using this type of language does not imply intention, but how it was received or heard and ultimately it is much more honest, particularly than the alternative which may be drifiting away from somewhere or someone.