I left for work at 6.15 yesterday morning for an 830 meeting with colleagues, thirteen hours later walked out of the car with dinner to eat before we even unpacked! With a head full of complex thoughts to process it was wonderful to come to this place of peace ans be nourished by food, wine and rest in a place which is good for my soul as I wrote about on Wednesday. We are also nearing the end of Paul’s birthday month and enjoyed a beautiful bottle of wine Paul was given by one of his team. I feel blessed as I wake up in a place of peace.
If I had been on Facebook 25 years ago yesterday I may well have got a memory pop up. Paul and I went to Portsmouth for the 50th Anniversary of D Day. We had previously toured the different places in France that are part of the story as well as those which are in England and even Scotland where we saw the remains of a Mulberry Harbour block.
I cannot imagine what it must have been like and my eyes have been filled with tears as I have watched and listened to some of the coverage over recent days. We went 25 years ago to pay respects and to say we still need to remember.
I am so sad about the dissonance between some of the values expressed then and some of the values which are expressed now. A world at peace would allow for human flourishing, a world without violence would make a difference to the whole of creation. I am always aware that change has to start with me and that I need to show some of the courage that the men and women we have been hearing stories about demonstrated 75 years ago. We are hearing from the last few of that generation, let’s treasure their stories and wonder in what ways we can do our bit in trying to make a better world.
We have both been immensely blessed by being able to travel to the USA to gatherings of the Pediatric Chaplains’ Network. To be able to be part of such a supportive community of practice is something I don’t take lightly. As different tragedies have taken place so messages are sent and prayers mobilized and you know that you are not alone in whatever it is you are facing. I joined those responding and we are praying particularly for Jessica and James, the local chaplains we know best, but also for all the emergency responders along with some family friends of Sally’s. This is the prayer that one of the chaplains forwarded for those facing Hurricane Harvey:
In times such as these it is hard to know exactly what to pray – but being aware of God’s presence and peace is one I use a lot.
When I wrote last week’s blog on unexploded bombs, I had no idea of the tragedy of another type of bomb that would be exploded by a suicide bomber in Manchester the following day. How should we respond when someone decides to explode a real bomb with the intention of harming children and young people? Obviously we weep with those who weep, our empathetic hearts break with those bereaved and injured. Many rush to help, support, pray, and the very best of humanity is expressed when we see others hurting and distressed. One of the many voices of life suggested that the city of Manchester will choose love not hate as their response.
We also ask why? Asking why is not a doubting question but a real one in the light of such sadness. It is also a brave question. It is brave because we do not always know what answers will be revealed or if there is even an answer at all that will answer our questions. This week questions of why and responsibility have been asked by the families, observers, helpers, local, national and international leaders. Was something missed that could have been picked up and the bomber stopped? Learning lessons is a universal helpful response to tragedies. But questions of why quickly move to accusations of blame.
Questions of responsibility are necessary and helpful but do not have to be motivated by finding or locating blame but bravely to learn and understand. Personally I hope we do learn how this happened so that lessons can be learnt and more people who wish to cause harm are stopped before it happens .
But I also hope in time and hopefully quickly, we will also ask the question of why, what causes one person or persons to feel this is an appropriate action or reaction? Simple answers of ‘they are evil’ will only superficially serve us. I wonder if lessons learnt from conflict resolution processes in other places could stand us in good stead as we look to ways in which we might respond. More fundamental explorations are needed and deserved around the longer, wider, deeper narrative of why, and a greater desire for peace and justice than retribution.
This caught my eye as we left a meeting last week. I have been thinking since how I might describe myself. My O level (GCSE for anyone a bit younger than me!) Greek tells me that I can say messenger rather than angel – I am not sure I see myself as terribly angelic, certainly in the colloquial sense the term is often used. However, I am aware that I inhabit a number of roles where I might be perceived to be a messenger or bring a message. It is hard to think of something more important than this currently, I might want to add reconciliation or I might be thinking of trying to help people find a sense of inner peace but if we all attempted to, at least sometimes, be an angel of peace then the world may be a bit different one day.
I am reading and writing this week and came across this quotation which the author of a books aid he had posted on his wall – I might copy him!
Peace is a deep disposition of the heart. It is humility, an ability to let go of the need to be right in our own eyes, or the eyes of others, an ability based on the knowledge that our rightness or wrongness in any issue is totally irrelevant to God’s love for us or for our neighbor. The peace that comes with claiming our self in God is the foundation of our ability to carry God’s reconciling love to others in the most humble places and humble everyday ways.
Roberta Bondi from Becoming bearers of reconciliation Weavings 5 (1) p9-10.
A good place to get to…
I am metaphorically laying these flowers in the places where people have been slain over the past week, Orlando and Birstall in particular. There is no background to this picture because the day was so misty that you could not see the sea beyond nor feel the sun that was above. That is how it feels at the moment… a deep sadness looking out into I know not what…
I am laying the flowers in hope, hope that the outcry in each of these cases will instigate change, change in attitude, in practice, in legislation… that peace may begin to prevail…
My daily readings book says this today – seemed very apt:
Everybody hurts. When I don’t have words to articulate my pain or frustration I get crude. But crude is probably better than repressed. So I let ’em rip. Damn it. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn it. This is my psalm of lament: ‘God, damn it’. Is it too much or is it prayer? The danger is that we’ll ignore a simple truth: we actually feel this way. Lament is a healthy and essential form of prayer in peacemaking. In lament we tell God exactly how we feel, what we want…and we leave it for God to decide how to restore us to justice. Brian Busse SJ Psalm 94:2-3.
From Ignatian Book of Days Jim Manney Chicago Loyola Press 2014