Wondering Wednesdays – grieving as we need to

Sundial, time doesn’t stand still, we cannot pause it, those things we fear sometimes do happen and we face loss and grieve.

One of the things I am finding challenging at the moment is snarky comments, mainly on social media about how people are grieving over the death of the Queen.

Many of us may have experienced inappropriate comments about our own grief and losses over time. No-one knows what lies underneath a particular loss, it can be cumulative and one loss can trigger so many memories and thoughts.

I appreciate this from Bonnie Thurston:

Do not allow words to be imposed on you, platitudes of hope dispensed like spiritual aspirin by those who have not been there.

And if you are not grieving over the loss of the Queen that’s fine too as the monarchy is complex and can symbolise something very different to people with different experiences to me.

Grief is complex and best let out amd we sometimes never expect to be triggered in the way we are by big or even tiny losses.


Friday photo – more ideas than time

Time is finite, my ideas are not. Having spent three months recovering from an injury which meant more time to be and less time to do, I am realising just how much I need to subject my ideas to discernment.

There is never time particularly to write all I want to. That is partly why I blog, to capture insights, glimpses, wonderings. Some ideas need preparation, I would like to do a pilgrimage walk but need to build capacity. Other ideas knowing me will remain attractive but never quite enticing enough for me to follow through on.

I love playing with possibilities I wonder what today’s will be?

Friday photo – tortoise time

For the past week or so I have had shingles and so have had to get used to a new approach to time management as fatigue, deeper than that in lock down, overcomes me. It has been good for me to rest, to feel liberated to rest and to dip into those bits of work that I can. I am grateful to my colleagues who have been willing to take on the bits of work that are time limited that I cannot do. Tortoise time is working for me at the moment and I need to accept and embrace that and not get impatient with what I can’t do but embrace what I can! A short blog with the energy I have got today!

Honest Christianity – a very high standard

I was challenged yesterday by one of the thoughts from our Ignatian daily readings book: In business matters be generous with your time, that is, if you can, do today what you promise to do tomorrow. William J Young SJ

This is not very easy for a last minute person like me, motivated by the deadlines. This is a real challenge but can be an honouring servant like way to treat others. But it is a very gracious way to live. I am planning to be more like this, very soon!

Friday photo – what’s the time?


Today our holiday is nearly at an end – if I blew on the dandelion today it would need to nearly all float away. I remember the simple pleasure of playing what’s the time with dandelion seed heads when I a child – however many puffs it took was the time!

Holidays are time for some of those other simple pleasures, paddling, skimming stones, eating an ice cream and trying not to let seagulls steal chips! It helps me to remember to hold on to some of the child like joy I used to experience when life wasn’t complicated!

Friday photo – getting the timing right

Bude beach

This was a walk we did at half term along the beach at Bude. Unfortunately, we hadn’t quite got the tide timings right! While the walk looks very straightforward in the photograph, further down the beach we were clambering over rocks as the tide came in and we could no longer walk on the sand. Although we were not in danger at any point and there are several places where we could have climbed the cliff, the experience reminded me of how important it can be to get the timing right in some dimensions of our life. When the timing is right, things can go so well, may be much less complex and there is a resonance and sense of wellbeing. When the timing is wrong it can be a nightmare trying to get something accomplished.

At different points in my Christian life I have heard people talking about two different Greek words for time, kairos and chronos. Kairos is the opportune time to do something, perhaps God’s time, chronos is chronological time. Differentiating between the two can sometimes be a helpful reflection or guidance on something we are doing or hoping to do.