Wondering Wednesdays – inner voice

I loved seeing all the swans, geese and ducks on the grass by the lake. No-one was telling them they should be in the lake, they didn’t belong there.

An ongoing battle for me is being concerned about what others think when I know that is unhelpful. It is perhaps a legacy of socialisation in an era when there were very specific expectations. I find this from Steve Jobs helpful. I have seen similar before but need to keep reminding myself!

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.

I am able to do this most of the time but sometimes feel conflicted by what I perceive to be the expectations of others despite being content with my choices.

Friday photo – the rough, steep road

We walked here yesterday, I wish I had brought a stick! Over three years ago I blogged about a different path leading me to recall a song from childhood, when the road is rough and steep, fix your eyes upon Jesus. I have needed that this week again as I process some news I wasn’t expecting.

This was a beautiful walk on the fringes of Dartmoor, the river was so noisy it masked my permanent tinnitus, it was beautiful. The place evoked so many thoughts with the autumn leaves, the amazingly big boulders in the river that the water had to navigate round. I assume some traumatic event had sent them rolling down the valley… I know a lot of people who like me have experienced traumatic events in the last few years and know how hard it can be to try and keep your eyes fixed in Jesus. Although the song is probably wrong for me anyway, I need to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus as much as I can because that offers me a glimpse of reality that my heart, mind and spirit need to hear.

Wondering Wednesdays – seeking out paths

Raynor Winn says this in Landlines:

Sitting on a headland, looking across the Channel as a squall blurs the horizon, I realize that we don’t always have to seek out the easiest path, or take the one that’s presented to us; sometimes it’s the hardest one that holds the greatest riches.

We didn’t climb up to the glacier in the picture (from our trip to New Zealand a few years ago) although we might say that in recent years some of the paths I have ended up taking means that this is a very resonant picture. One of the challenges is that some paths are blocked by others and there is no magic word to get us past like there might be in fairy stories. And we are not always successful in challenging others ideas of the path we should take when they have the power and control to block what we might have chosen.

However, there have been times when out on the moor, for example, we have looked at where to walk and chosen the harder option, which for me is usually about walking up a tor, we are rarely near mountains! Both literal and metaphorical hard paths can bring great riches but I have learnt not to castigate myself for sometimes choosing an easier one given everything else that I am carrying.

How do you choose paths?

Friday photo – lighting the path

You can’t see where the path goes, the lights follow the bend. Some of you may have walked this path yourselves, it leads to Cotehele Mill.

As I look at this picture it makes me think of all the people who have lit the path for me over my spiritual journey. I trust that there will be others I cannot yet see, just like the lights further down the path.

Sometimes it is a phrase or action that is light, other times it feels like someone has picked up one of those lights and is walking alongside me with it.

Who or what is lighting your path? Are you lighting a path for someone else?

Friday photo – shafts of light

Shafts of light are a helpful metaphor for me at the moment. It has been a challenging year for us and some we are close to healthwise particularly.

However, when I reflect there are always shafts of light in a difficult day, but sometimes I need to put more effort into noticing them.

On the sea, the reflection of light is distorted by the movement of the water and this looks like a choppy path. But it is a path and I am grateful for those who illuminate a way for me by their actions, writing, example or encouragement and support.

Wondering Wednesdays – what difference did it make?

So often I only know a part of a whole, that is true of Robert Frost’s poem The Road Not Taken. I really only know the line which talks about choosing the path less traveled by. What fascinates me reading the whole thing is the final verse where I knew only the last two lines:

I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I – I took the one less traveled by. And that has made all the difference.

When we look back at our decisions, are we telling the story with a sigh or a smile? Reading this I wonder if the difference has been positive and negative. On reading just the two lines it sounds so positive to me. But when I read the word “sigh” earlier in the verse, I wonder.

Making choices can be difficult and challenging but can make a significant difference. I try not to have regrets and live with my choices but some of my choices I make very carefully. I am mindful of trying to follow where God is guiding but sometimes I have a sense that I can choose either option. I have written before about not having a plan a, b, c, d etc theology and believe that free will means I have choices. But I also want to make choices that enable me to fulfil my calling and become more of who I believe God created me to be. Perhaps not everyone understands those choices or agrees with them but I need to live with them and hope that more often than not I will be talking of those choices with a smile.

Friday photo – path of light

I love seeing a path of light across the sea. Even more special when it.is moonlight but struggle to capture that on a phone and in the summer to be still up when the moon rises!

I have been seeing quite a few posts about paths recently and appreciating the way people are using it both literally and metaphorically.

What I realised commenting on one such post was that my path has remained quite similar in very many ways but the scenery has changed. Given a choice I would always walk by the sea but most of the time that is not possible and I have learnt to appreciate much more other landscapes too.

I have also been reminded of the Gate of the Year poem in recent days and appreciate Minnie Louise Haskins words about stepping out holding the hand of God. There are times when we see no light, they are the most challenging.

Friday photo – what’s round the corner?

Leaf strewn path

As we draw to the end of 2021 I am wondering what 2022 holds!

What will be possible, what will not?

Christmas plans changed last minute with Covid diagnoses.  A pronouncement today making me wonder if January journeys will turn to zooms.

I have grown in my capacity to be flexible and creative and to try and hold more lightly to plans.

But it has been hard to keep being disappointed over a series of what might seem like small losses but cumulatively feel quite large.

Sacrificing for the common good is something I largely willingly do but grieve when I see people abusing this. And sacrifice is not without cost and we keep being told that round the corner are better times but the timelines keeps extending.

I keep walking this path hoping for the glimpses of joy I feel when I turn the real life corner and see a lake full of swans, their beauty and elegance lifting my spirits.

Friday photo – blocked path

I encountered this fallen tree when out for a walk this week. I like the metaphor of a well watered tree from Psalm 1 but something seemed to have gone wrong here! I still feel like I have encountered an unexpected fallen tree on a path alongside a stream.

However, I am also aware that I was able to climb over this tree and keep on going along the path by the stream. I have believed for many years that I have a vocation which I work out wherever I end up, whether paid or not. There may be obstacles to negotiate along the way but I continue to look for opportunities to help people fulfil their potential and become all they can be to make their unique difference in the world. In my faith context I have a passion for equipping the saints for works of service, and am so encouraged hearing and seeing the stories of people who I have supported for a while on their journey.

How do you frame your core vocation?

Friday photo – down the steps

It feels like my day begins when I walk downstairs. I have a routine, turn the radio on, fill the kettle, drink some water, empty the dishwasher… Going down these steps is a little more exciting than walking down my stairs at home! So many journeys have an unseen destination, you are not quite sure exactly where you are going and you have choices to make along the way.

Summer has a bit of space to walk down the steps and not worry too much about where to go as the deadlines and constraints of work life take a back seat for a while. Space to meander and explore, leaving behind some of the burdens of everyday is a necessary treat for me.