Wondering Wednesdays – going before

On Monday I was leading a retreat day, in a new venue, with a group where I only knew two of the people. I was exploring spiritual health, using that term to mean our relationship with God, self, others and creation. I drew on the work of Margaret Silf in Soul Journeys (along with two psalms and the work of Morgan Harper Nichols) and she writes this about the angel’s words to the women after the resurrection:

The angel’s promise assures us that wherever “Galilee” is for us, the risen Christ will go there ahead of us, and we will see that power of his transformative presence in ways that we had not recognised until now (p169).

That is such a reassuring thought for me. The post resurrection narratives bring me such comfort and even on Monday I had a sense that Jesus had gone before me, Chapel House, where the retreat was held is a prayed into space. I felt a sense of peace, I experienced the Holy Spirit leading me in different ways through the day as while I had a script for my three talks, there are always excursions from it!

We may not know what the future holds but we can trust that Jesus will be there with us and that we can experience his transformative power in ways we might not be able to imagine from where we are now.

Wondering Wednesdays – Gethsemane

Tomorrow is Maundy Thursday and we recall the story of Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane among other things. Ronald Rolheiser (in the Lent book I am reading this year) writes this:

The agony in the garden is many things, but, first of all, it’s Jesus’s entry into the darkest black hole of human existence, the black hole of bitter misunderstanding, rejection, aloneness, loneliness, humiliation, and the helplessness to do anything about it. The agony in the garden is the black hole of sensitivity brutalized by misunderstanding, innocence brutalized by hatred, goodness brutalized by misunderstanding, innocence brutalized by wrong judgement, forgiveness brutalized by murder, and haven brutalized by hell. This is the deepest black hole of loneliness and it brings the lover inside us to the ground in agony, begging for release. But, whenever our mouths are pushed into the dust of misunderstanding, and loneliness inside that black hole, it’s helpful to know that Jesus was there before us, tasting just our kind of loneliness.

I don’t think I need to comment further – most of us will have tasted this at some time during our lives and hopefully are comforted by knowing that Jesus understands and was there with us.

The Passion and the Cross p7.

Wondering Wednesdays – beginning to end

We saw this Jesus carrying the cross on a trolley in a church in Spain. I imagine it is part of their Good Friday activities. As we near the end of Lent I have been spending a bit of time pondering the incarnation as without the birth, obviously there could be no death. I came across this, written by Cassie Biggin:

The mystery of the incarnation, the magic of conception as Spirit lit life in the womb of a girl, the manger-throne with rich and poor, shepherds and foreigners, all gathered around God-as-man. The magic that closed gaps, broke down walls, and joined inside and outside, heaven and earth. Reconciliation. Reunion. Redemption. One. Shalom.

Praying that we may see more of this reconciliation, reunion, redemption and shalom in our broken world.

Cassie Biggin A Good Knowing, p54.

Wondering Wednesdays – always learning

This picture is in Llandaff Cathedral and I got to spend some time with it on Monday. The picture is called The Virgin of the Goldfinches. I had not realised that goldfinches had a spiritual significance.

The painting, by Clive Hicks-Jenkins. It portrays Mary and the angel Gabriel. Goldfinches have historically in art been used as a symbol of the passion of Christ because it often feeds among thorns. There is a legend that a goldfish drew a thorn from the crown of Jesus on the road to Calvary and the red feathers on their heads derive from being stained by his blood.

I love reflecting on God in nature and this is another insight which helps.

Friday photo – the rough, steep road

We walked here yesterday, I wish I had brought a stick! Over three years ago I blogged about a different path leading me to recall a song from childhood, when the road is rough and steep, fix your eyes upon Jesus. I have needed that this week again as I process some news I wasn’t expecting.

This was a beautiful walk on the fringes of Dartmoor, the river was so noisy it masked my permanent tinnitus, it was beautiful. The place evoked so many thoughts with the autumn leaves, the amazingly big boulders in the river that the water had to navigate round. I assume some traumatic event had sent them rolling down the valley… I know a lot of people who like me have experienced traumatic events in the last few years and know how hard it can be to try and keep your eyes fixed in Jesus. Although the song is probably wrong for me anyway, I need to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus as much as I can because that offers me a glimpse of reality that my heart, mind and spirit need to hear.

Wondering Wednesdays- wisdom of each other

What a great title for a book! I love the reciprocity that is evident in the learning I have engaged in over so many years, on both sides of the journey.

In essence the book says, yes preaching and teaching are important but so much wisdom is gained through everyday conversations with each other. Peterson writes “Spiritual counsel, easy prayerful conversation between comapnions engaged in a common task is less and less frequent”. He then goes on to reference Jesus calling us friends in John 15.15 suggesting that “Friend” sets us in a non-hierarchical, open, informal, spontaneous company of Jesus-friends, who verbally develop relationships of responsibility and intimacy by means of conversation… we simply talk about whatever feelings or thoughts are in our hearts as Jesus’ friends (p17).

This was Monday morning for me and I realise I need more of these times!

Wondering Wednesdays – thresholds of trust

One of the books I read on holiday was Margaret Silf’s At Sea with God. It was a joy to read it often seated with a sea view and there is much to ponder in it. One of the paragraphs which resonated was in response to Jesus saying “Come” to Peter across the water. She writes:

Often we have to cross a threshold of trust, if we are to deepen our relationship with God. We have to let go of our old understanding of what makes us ‘secure’, in order to discover a new layer of solid ground in God. We sometimes have to step over the limits set by our common sense and human judgement to discover the potential that lies beyond what we thought was possible. Such insight and growth usually comes out of the stormy times of ourlives rather than in the smooth stretches, and the encouragement to make such leaps of faith seems to be given silently and in the very depths of our darkness. Paradoxically, we hear that silent assurance in the midst of the story, urging us to venture further, across the water.

These last three years have involved reflecting on this sort of concept even if I would not have thought about expressing it in quite this way. I continue to ponder where and how Jesus is saying “Come” and will try to respond positively to that and it will sometimes stretch my trust.

Is Jesus saying “Come” to you about anything at the moment?

Friday photo – find a quiet space

I need to do this daily, I normally start the day like this but am realising I perhaps need to punctuate some of my days with finding a quiet space to be with God as well as giving myself some bigger chunks of time to sit and listen.

My word of the year is rhythm and my rhythm is evolving as I continue to explore what works best for me now. Old patterns can stop working and new ones need to emerge.

The picture is of a wall hanging I saw at Launde Abbey last week.

Friday photo – one more candle

The manger is empty, the four advent candles are lit, just one remains, to be lit 12 hours after I write this.

We have lit the candles for love, joy, peace and hope, all that remains is the one which celebrates the birth of a child who changed the world. Who changed my world when I chose to respond to his call to follow him.

I am waiting expectantly for tomorrow with the last line of In the bleak midwinter running through my head, my gift for Jesus is my heart.

Covid-19 Easter Sunday Musing Aloud: Resurrection lockdown timetable

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Perhaps the irony and poignancy of this verse also struck you in our Easter readings for today. This familiar verse takes on a fresh meaning even in these days of vaccinations and gradual coming out of lockdown.

Even in the power of the resurrection miracle, being physically held is not always appropriate. Close but no closer. Timing is important in the revelation of our risen God Rabbi. Our Salvation hope is now and not yet. Sometimes we have to witness to the present and also wait for further time to elapse. Jesus has another appointment before he can be held. He has an encounter with the Father booked in before He can fully come out of the isolation of the tomb. There are rules for both Jesus and Mary to follow in the meantime. There is a correct order for this resurrection timetable. How frustrated must Mary have been. Come on Jesus, you have done the hard work, give me a hug!

When we get to the upper room, touch is not only allowed but encouraged, “touch me and see”, ” Thomas, put your finger here… reach out your hand”. Eating inside with a large group seems mandatory! The rules have changed, go and tell everyone and bring them all to me.

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Perhaps you seen the above image or something similar. Heart felt longings from deep within, well perhaps not for all the introverts! Now where is that risen Lord Jesus, he had better had been to the Father by now. For all the last year has been, and the recovery I need, I need to never let go. I take comfort, God has and will not ever let me and you go.